Global Women's Voices: Share Personal Stories

Janhawi, Nepal

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I was married when I was 12 and got pregnant immediately because of the age I miscarried my first child. Then at the age of 14 I gave birth to a beautiful girl. I was so happy to have her and in fact, my husband and I decided not to have another baby but due to the pressure from the family we had other one.

Then we though it was going to be ok to have two daughters then I realized that I was pregnant again. I was very much scared about the future of those children because I had very hard time financially during that period. I kept on crying every day but my mother in law did not understand me I told her that I don’t want to have another child but she scolded me saying that I did not have son.

She forced me that I should have son. Then I gave birth to the twins, this time a son and a daughter. But, my hard days started there after. Because I did not have enough fund to feed those four children. That time I had very little knowledge about contraceptives and we did not even get easily. After two years I realized that I was pregnant again. I trembled with fear when I knew that.

So this time without telling anybody other than my husband we went to the doctor. Abortion was not legal that time. I told the doctor that I had hard time in feeding those four children and I can not bear another. She was not ready to listen to me. She told me that she does not want to go to prison. So I was very much disappointed. I went to almost four doctors but they denied to have me done abortion.

Finally, I went to a doctor who agreed to do if I pay a really good amount of money. Scared with the future of the children I paid the money by taking loans and selling some marriage jewels. I went to live with my relatives so that nobody would guess that I had an abortion. I told everybody that I had hyper acidity so I went to my relatives house to take rest. Then I strongly felt the importance of the legalized abortion in the poor country like ours. I voluntarily started helping women who are in need of abortion. Today I am happy that our country passed the abortion bill. I think now others do not have to suffer like me.

updated: 7/2/2004