First of all, you’re looking really great these days. I see you smiling, laughing, decorating yourself, loving yourself and that makes me so incredibly happy to see. I remember how long it took for you to get here, and it’s amazing to see just how far you’ve come.
I’m glad you found your voice. I hate that it took you losing it in such a violent way for you to reclaim and proclaim it, but I’m so proud of you for doing so and I’m so so happy that you have. Your words, your story, your unapologetic love for yourself and how you move through the world have inspired many (seriously! people look up to you! isn’t that cool?!). I know you never expected that, but isn’t it beautiful? You’re an example of what can happen when you come out the other side, when you show the world that scorched earth can indeed still bear fruit. You’re here, and that is so incredibly amazing to witness.
I’m so happy to see you caring for yourself, to put your care first above anyone else’s feelings, to center yourself and your healing as the most important priority in your life and your growth. You did a lot of self sacrificing for a long time, sis. You held in your tears to keep other people comfortable, you denied your pain to not be a downer, you spent a lot of time making yourself small to keep other folks happy. I think the most beautiful thing I’ve watched you do is become ok with not being ok. While you’re still learning how to roll with the harshness of the cold memories that the winter brings, you are letting yourself feel. And to heal, baby girl, you have to feel. I watch you weep for the girl you once were, letting out that reserve of pain that she held onto for so long, for far too long. By feeling you are setting her free. Thank you for setting her free.
You’re not the same girl you were six years ago. Sometimes I look back at her and I want to reach out and grab her hand, whisper all the things into her ear that it took you so long to hear, to pull her into the loving embrace she so desperately needed. I wish you hadn’t had to dig so much shit to get to the other side, but I’m so happy that you’re here.
Dear survivor: I see you. I hear you. I love you. Keep going. Be gentle with yourself. And if no one has told you today-I am so incredibly glad you’re here.
All my love,